Be A Man For A Day

  1. You will be told that you must not show emotions. If you have them, you must disguise them.

  2. Your friendships with other men must always be based on masculine pursuits in common, but if you spend too much time together, you will be accused of being “gay” or “girly.”

  3. If you have too many—or any—friendships with women, you will also be accused of being “gay” or “girly.”

  4. If you show any interest in artistic expression such as theater, music, dance or art, you will be accused of being “gay” or “girly.”

  5. You will be expected to conquer women’s hearts while you are simultaneously told that you must have nothing in common with them.

  6. Whatever your true interests are, you must direct these interests toward acceptable male activities, whatever those happen to be in your culture.

  7. You may love your children, but you must spend most of your time away from them.

  8. You will be told that what matters most about you is how much money you make.

  9. There will be a uniform for you to wear on every occasion. No deviation from this uniform is allowed. Male fashion will change very infrequently, whether you like it or not.

  10. You will be held up to an image of a body builder and if you fall short, you will be constantly in fear of being too small and powerless as a man.

  11. You will constantly be shown sexualized images of women, and then when you have contact with real women, be constantly surprised and hurt by the reality that these women are not the sexualized ideals your have been taught to expect.

  12. Women will often be angry at you for reasons you cannot fathom.

  13. Speaking to women will terrify you because it feels that they have some “language” you have never been taught. Indeed, speaking of your emotions is nearly impossible, since you have been told never to have them.

  14. Sports is supposed to be your main hobby, whether it is or not.

  15. Male displays of physical strength are a constant part of your training to be a man.

  16. Violence should simmer beneath the surface but never explode.

  17. The size of your penis matters more than the size of anything else on your body, and this is not something that you have any control over.

  18. You will be encouraged to take steroids and other drugs to increase your manliness. Ironically, these same drugs will steal your fertility and make your penis shrink in later years.

  19. When you are old, you will be told that you must be as capable of having sex as in your teen years. If not, you should take drugs to achieve the same level of activity. You cannot possibly be happy with anything else.

  20. You will be lonely much of the time.

  21. You will depend on the women in your life to do a lot of your emotional connecting.

  22. You will be bewildered by your daughters and terrified by them as they become sexual beings, because you do not know how to talk to them.

  23. You will wonder if there is some other model of manliness for your sons, but you have no idea how to model it.

  24. You will feel disenfranchised and at the same time, told that you have all the power. You do not know where the power, but you are pretty sure you don’t have it.